Forbes.com hat sich die Mühe gemacht, einige Oscar-Dankesreden zu analysieren: Wem wird am häufigsten gedankt, wer hat am längsten gesprochen und danken Frauen mehr Menschen als Männer? Launiges Artikelchen, das – natürlich – mit der besten Dankesrede von allen endet. Shirley MacLaine sagte 1983 nach ihrem Sieg für Terms of Endearment: “I deserve this.”

Gwyneth Paltrow showed up to the 71st Academy Awards ceremony in 1999 looking lovely in a pink Ralph Lauren dress and a 40-carat diamond necklace. But by the time she’d sobbed her way through a three-minute, 365-word acceptance speech for her Best Actress award, her look had gone from regal to ridiculous. Nobody seems to have been able to actually hear what she said through her tears, but a look at the Academy transcript reveals a thank-you list that was 24 names deep and included two dead people.

Adrian Brody, who won the Best Actor award in 2003, tried to play it cool. “I haven’t really written a speech, because every time I wrote a speech for the past one of these things, I didn’t win,” he began. He then proceeded to launch into a 466-word speech, talking his way over two successive attempts to shoo him off the stage.